


Dave: Be the Trainer

by J4Coltrain



Series: PokeStuck [1]
Category: Homestuck, Pokemon
Genre: Gen, I don't quite know what I'm doing, Karkat curses a LOT, My First Fanfic, Other, Pokestuck, and gets ugly and creative with his words, and no one to beta for this, just FYI, please don't maul me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-05
Updated: 2013-02-07
Packaged: 2017-11-28 08:18:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/672241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/J4Coltrain/pseuds/J4Coltrain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pretty much a "what if Trolls were like Pokemon?"</p><p>"Dave stared at his TrolLex. unknown? He looked back at the wild troll, and stared. it looked...a LITTLE different. his horns were small, his teeth had a tiny bit of an overbite, and his tail was tufted at the end while the rest of it appeared to be a sea trolls, but to be an unknown troll type was unheard of. "</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dave: be the Trainer

Dave stared at his TrolLex. unknown? He looked back at the wild troll, and stared. it looked...a LITTLE different. his horns were small, his teeth had a tiny bit of an overbite, and his tail was tufted at the end while the rest of it appeared to be a sea trolls, but to be an unknown troll type was unheard of.  
They tiny troll dug around a little more in the dirt, searching for sustenance. Dave slowly pulled out one of the free orbs in his bag, quietly as possible. However, The trolls ears twitched and he looked up, young black eyes flashing around the surrounding area, pointed teeth biting uncertaintly in his bottom lip.  
Dave stayed still as the troll's eyes scoured the area, The light haired youth held his breath as he crouched in the brush. The young troll resumed his digging, though Dave could tell with the way the grey ears twitched the troll was waiting for something.  
Dave moved quietly as he readied the ball to capture, realizing to late that it was the most expensive orb he had. The one his Bro had given him ironically as a going away present. The one he'd forgotten he had until it was flying through the air.  
don't use this to fast, Little Man, Bro had said as he tossed the blackened ball towards the youngest Strider. only use it if you know for certain you'll capture the troll. It's a special type of Custody Marble. I got it on one of my journeys and never used it myself.  
Dave watched in stony silence as the marble landed on the surprised troll. That particular Marble costed a pretty penny but was said to have a 65% capture rate, as long as the Troll wasn't to strong. The higher up on the Troll spectrum one went the less likely it could capture a healthy Troll.  
and Dave had no idea where on the Spectrum this particular one landed. The orb contained the small troll and witheld through the onslaught of attacks performed by the inhabitant. Dave silently prayed as the orb continued to move. He stood out of his spot and carefully walked towards the commotion.  
The fighting kept going on, much longer than Dave thought was possible. Usually the orbs stilled after a minute, but this guy just kept going. he crouched down near the moving orb and hummed his appreciation through his nose. This guy was going to be tough, but he wasn't that high on the spectrum, he'd have busted out by now.  
When the orb finally stilled dave picked up his TrolLex to see what the stats on his new addition were.  
{ Type: UNKNOWN  
Abilities: UNKNOWN  
Gender: UNKNOWN  
Hp: UNKNOWN Speed: UNKNOWN Attack: UNKNOWN Defense: UNKNOWN}  
PLEASE TAKE THIS TROLL TO CLINIC FOR FURTHER INFORMATION

Dave stared at his screen incredulously for a couple of seconds before he decided to ring up Lalonde. He punched in her number and waited, toying with the Marble as he waited for her to answer.  
"I've not heard from you in a while, Strider. To what do I owe this pleasure?" She asked upon answering.  
"Yo. Saying hello just seems more polite an opening than 'what do you want Strider?' I'm just saying. Makes a man feel unwelcome." He feigned as much hurt into his voice as he possibly could.  
"I'll make sure to remember that when talking to men then." He felt her eyebrow raise in a challenge.  
"Ouch. Lalonde. You've wounded me." He knew better than to rise to her challenges.  
"I was preparing for a show Dave. is this important?" came the bored drawl over the phone.  
"You hate shows Rose. You only entered to beat your Mother." He replied. He barely caught her 'hm' over on her side, but he knew it was there. "Anyway. I got an unknown troll. My TroLex won't tell me shit. I was wondering if you had any information."  
"An...unknown troll?" Rose was creepy when something interesting came up.  
"Yeah. TrolLex has NOTHING on it. zip. Like, it would know more about Bigfoot. I recall you saying your mom was really big in the Clinic Community. Think if I mosied on over there you'd be able to help?"  
"Are you offering me this troll?"  
"Hell no. I used the marble Bro gave me. I'm wondering if you'd help?"  
"come over. I'll let Mother know to expect you." She quickly hung up the phone to go Passive-Aggresivly tell her mother the news of an unknown Troll.  
Dave sighed and started to pack up when he felt the Marble quivering. Usually Trolls would go into a dormant state in the orb, occasionally though there would be a few who couldn't stay dormant long enough and would panic in their confined spaces.  
These types were prone to causing themselve damage in fits of claustraphobia and had to have special help getting healed.  
Dave lightly cursed and freed his new troll. The problem with letting newly caught trolls out though was trust issues. They are used to being wild and caring for themselves, not having a human interact on daily basis.  
The little troll tumbled out a shaky mess, translucent red tears rolling down his grey cheeks and eyes wide and bright with worry. He tore off into the brush, trying to escape, and Dave sighed. He readied himself to summon back the troll when he heard a growl.  
"FUCKER." came the raspy highpitched voice.  
"what?" Dave turned to where the voice came from. "Hello?"  
"YOU. FUCKER."  
"You another trainer? Sorry I caught him first then?" Dave called out to the dark.  
"I'M NO STUPID HUMAN." the emphasis placed on the word 'stupid' was dripping with disgust. Dave paused, even more stunned than before.  
"where you at?" he called again. He then stared as the small troll he caught earlier appeared on a low hung tree branch.  
"RIGHT HERE YOU DISASTROUS BILE FILLED FUCK." The tear tracks were no longer seen, replaced instead by a snarl. "WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT? WHAT MISINFORMED VOICES IN YOUR ROTTED THINKPAN TOLD YOU TO THROW YOUR POOR EXCUSE OF A PRISON AT MY BODY?!"  
Dave walked closer to the branch, his glasses the only things hiding his widened eyes. Pokerface be damned. The troll was talking.  
"uh..." Dave stammered brilliantly.  
The troll was not amused. "THATS WHAT MY BRILLIANT NEW MASTER HAS TO INPUT. WE SHOULD INFORM THE COW LIKE HUMAN MASSES! THEY'D BE THRILLED."  
"you. can talk. Okay." Dave blinked back his shock, resuming his poker face once more. "and everything that comes out is dripping with disgust and resentment."  
The troll narrowed his black eyes, pinned back his ears, and glared. "IT'S BETTER THAN YOURS, STINKING WITH STUPIDITY AND SELF RIGHTOUSNESS. WITH A SLIGHT SCENT OF BULLSHIT."  
"woah. hold up." Dave rose his hands. "I realize now I probably should have thought this through."  
"PROBABLY." came a growled reply.  
"However." Dave pointed at the small troll "I stand by my descison to capture you."  
"I WILL STAND BY MINE TO DISEMBOWEL YOU." his teeth were far to pointy for Dave to not be able to believe him.  
"you so much as twitch in a way I feel threatening I'm putting you back." Dave glowered. "you were obviously not doing to well for yourself out here. Seeing your ribs dude. not a healthy sign FYI."  
The tiny troll dropped his shoulders. "FUCK THAT. I WAS...i was doing fine."  
Dave relaxed as the young troll's voice faltered away from his yelling growl. "Sure you were." The reproachful glare he recieved was almost worth it. "so. Talking Troll. You got a name?"  
"Not one YOU could pronounce you bulge shooting pile of atrocity." Now that he wasn't all fluffed Dave could see the remains of a collar tattered tightly around the small throat. KARKAT was etched into the leather.  
"Karkat?" Dave grinned. He knew he was being unnecisarily antagonistic, but the name calling was too.  
Hands quickly covered over his neck. "CONGRATUALTIONS WASTCHUTE MUNCHER. YOU CAN READ." oh good. the yelling was back.  
"Learned that trick years ago. I can do more too."  
Karkat's head tilted and he squinted at Dave. It looked like he was trying to decipher why a dog would repeatedly run into the same wall.  
Dave felt his communicator buzz as he stared back into the tiny eyes. The pupils had contracted back to what seems to be normal size, showing off the yellow sclera normal to the Troll race.  
Dave answered without breaking eye contact. "Yo?"  
"DAAAAVE!!" "Is it TRUE? Did you find an unknown TROLL?" John and Jade were both screaming into his ear.  
"I'm sorry. Dave Strider is not able to comprehend two DERPS at once, please try again." He deapanned into the reciever. The grunts and groans he recieved from the other end was music to his ears.  
"DAVE!!" John grumped, "Did you get an unknown type of Troll?! My Dad's already packing to get to the Lalondes!"  
"Yeah. I did. I'm gonna be heading there myself." He edged closer to Karkat as he talked,making sure he was moving slowly enough to not be percieved a threat. Karkat hunkered down but made no motion to back away.  
"What's his blood color?" Jade asked, loudly shoving her younger brother away from the phone. "How long have you had him?" She was sitting on John by the sounds in the back ground "what's his personality? Did you have to...JOHN YOU FUCKASS I'M GOING TO KILL YOU FOR BITING ME!!"  
Karkat stared in alarm as screams came from Dave's phone. shouts of "you deserved it pudgy!" and "lemme show you how to wear a belt shrimp!" could be heard as the phone lie forgotten.  
Dave scratched his head and called into the phone. "Imma just tell you all about it when we see each other. it's going to tack me a couple days to make it back to the Rainy City, so I'll just..." he hung up and stared for a while at his device. The Harley-Egbert family were much different from his own. He looked back up at Karkat and held out his hand.  
"come on down. Gotta show-N-Tell ya around the Troll clinic."  
"IF YOU SO MUCH AS THINK ABOUT PLACING ME BACK INTO THAT INFERNAL BALL I'LL SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR PROTEIN CHUTE THE MOMENT I CAN." Came the barking reply. Dave shrugged.  
"Alright, but you're riding in the basket, I won't like it if you fall off of my back while riding. Karkat stared and sneered. Then jumped on Daves shoulder.  
"I COULD PROBABLY RUN NEXT TO YOUR SLOW ASS AND STILL MAKE LAPS AROUND YOU."  
Dave rolled his eyes and squared his shoulders to hold up Karkat's weight. The troll was extremely light, barely heavier than a house cat, but his front and back claws dug into Dave's flesh well enough to hold himself there.  
Dave's bike was resting next to a tree, propped up on the trunk and waiting obediently. It was another gift from his bro, one of three Dave treasured the most. It was a bright yellow with streamers from the handles and a daisy woven into the front basket. Bro had it specially made, ironically of course. It had to be big enough to handle Dave's growth spurts and tough enough to be all terrain. It was Dave's pride and joy when it came to adventuring to other cities.  
Karkat stared at it though, disbelief etched all over his face. "KILL ME NOW."  
"Nah. Where would the fun in that be?" Dave grabbed karkat by his scruff and placed the immobile troll into the basket. "Stay there Kitty."  
Karkat's pupils formed into slits as he lashed out at his new owner. "CALL ME KITTY. DO IT. SEE HOW FAR IN LIFE YOU GET WITH TEETH EMBEDED INTO YOUR STOMACHE."  
Dave arched an eye brow and smirked. "riiight. Killing off the nickname then." Dave straddled his seat and got the bike ready for departure. "Hold on tightly. you fall and get banged up it's your fault."  
"FUCK YOU." it was as close to a consent as Dave would get.  
The first ride ended up getting Dave's basket new holes caused by Karkats claws. He watched sullenly as Dave patched it up, little growls coming from the back of his throat.  
"THAT WAS HELL. YOU PUT ME IN HUMAN HELL YOU DIRT SCRAPING SACK OF SHIT."  
"now now, all those pet names your calling me will get me bashful." Dave retorted, ignoring the trolls hissing. "Besides, I stuck to the path. I didn't see the hill coming up, it was an honest accident."  
"MY MAULING YOU WILL NOT BE AN ACCIDENT."  
"awww. and here I thought I was making progress." Dave stared through his aviators at the angry troll.  
Karkat huffed and smoothed out his tail as he continued to watch Dave. "ARE WE RESTING HERE?"  
"yeah. My legs are beat. We'll continue more tomorrow."  
"GOOD. FEED ME." Karkat glared.  
Dave chuckled and reached into his bag to pull out some of the food there. "you got it." He tossed one of the bags of the Egbert brand travel food to his pint sized companion, who wasted no time in tearing ravenously into it.  
Dave watched as Karkat demolished five of his bags enthusiaticly, but stopped him as he eyed a sixth.  
"that's enough for you Shorty. Gotta have some for the rest of this trip."  
"RIGHT." Karkat drawled sarcasticlly. "BECAUSE YOU NEED THEM ALL TO SURVIVE THESE HORRIBLE LIVING CONDITIONS."  
"I'm sensing some sarcasm, Captain."  
"FROM ME? WHAT EVER GAVE YOU THAT IDEA NOOK DWELLER?"  
"I don't even know what a nook IS." Dave sighed. He gave another long look. "yo...Dude. you want that shit off? looks hella uncomfortable."  
Karkat placed his hands over the collar and looked hesitant. Ears dropping and eyes focused he looked almost harmless.  
"you'd do that?" Karkat looked like the victim of a horrible joke. "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT FOR THAT?" his fur was starting to stand on end again and Dave resumed the raised hands positions.  
"you got the wrong idea. I'm supposed to be taking care of you. You bein' in my care and all means I need you healthy. In my book 'choked to Death' doesn't constitute as healthy."  
Karkat looked away, contemplating. "bring out your other Trolls." He looked defiant, like Dave would refuse his request.  
"What..." Dave stopped as the glare deepened. "alright. Fine. Here..." He pulled out the only other occupied marbles, "Meet Trix and Stooly."  
Karkat huffed as Dave released the teal and purple blooded trolls he had. They clicked and churred as they looked about their surroundings, his purple 'Stooly' half heartedly slapped at the blind 'Trix.'. She bit him as his hand grew closer.  
Karkat chittered, high pitched and alien, at the other two. His voice was higher in pitch and seemed stranger. The two looked and acted interested in his vocals and Dave could do nothing but watch, amazed.  
"YOUR MADE UP HUMAN NAMES ASTOUND ME," Karkat finally admitted, in a language Dave could understand. "YOU'VE OFFENDED ME AND I HOPE YOU ROT IN A PILE OF PUTRID CORPSES."  
"I assume you have their...preffered names?" Dave asked as he started to set up and arrange a sleeping spot, one that was devoid of rocks and other painful attributes. He glanced over at Karkat, "I'm only asking because I'd be willing to change their names."  
Karkat stared and bit at his lip for a while until he turned to the other trolls, and clicked at them. He got both of their answers pretty quickly and all three sets of eyes fell on Dave. The human stayed passive as he awaited the loud response.  
"THEY TELL ME YOU...CARE...FOR THEM. THEY WANT YOU TO USE THEIR REAL NAMES. THE PUTRID, SPONGEDEAD VAPID FOOL IS GAMZEE. DON'T TRY TO COPY MY SUPERIOR ALTERNIAN SOUNDS. JUST CALL HIM G-AM-ZEE."  
Dave nodded and pulled out his TrolLex, "Gamzee...? alright got it down." He showed the screen to Karkat, only to have it snatched out of his hands.  
"THIS...THIS HAS EVERYTHING YOU KNOW ABOUT US?" Little clawed fingers poked and prodded as Karkat explored the expensive device. "INTERESTING. AND BY INTERESTING I MEAN 'MORONIC BEYOND BELIEF.'" the tiny troll shook the tool, "HANDY AS SHIT THOUGH." He tossed it back at Dave, who caught it with as little panic as possible.  
"Who is the girl?" Dave pressed, a little impatient now with Karkat.  
"TEREZI. SHE'S AS BIG OF A CRETINOUS SCREAMING FUCKWIT AS YOU CAN FIND, BUT SHE'S SMART FOR BEING A DISABLED WASTE OF BREATH." Dave nodded as he typed in her name.  
"You have a way with words, Maestro. Can't wait for you to start describing me."  
"FUCK YOU I HAVE NO REASON TO DESCRIBE SOMEONE AS BRAIN-NUMBINGLY DRUDGINGLY PLAIN AS YOU ARE."  
Dave chuckled. "you have NO idea who I am yet." He looked over at his older Trolls. "Gamzee and Terezi...?" They both cocked their heads in his direction, Gamzee's drooping ears perking up at his name.  
"Gamzee." The purple troll pointed at himself, and although it was almost intelligable as a name, Dave caught the sylables that Karkat had just used previously.  
"Yeah dude...you're Gamzee." Dave paused only a minute before he pointed at himself. "Dave. I'm Dave."  
"Dauv?" Terezi chirped. She crawled closer, giving him a clear veiw of teeth he'd seen used all to well.  
"Dahv?" Gamzee tried. He smiled too, causing Dave flashbacks of previous battles won by the brutal purple.  
"Both...Both are an applicable pronunciation of my name and I will answer to them." Dave nodded, emphatically. Both trolls snapped their heads towards Karkat, looking for a translation.  
He chirped and whistled, bristling his hair and tail at the end of his longwinded speech, and then he turned to Dave.  
"FIRST OFF, I TOLD THEM WHAT YOU SAID. DON'T THANK ME. SECONDLY. I AM NOT A TOY. YOU USE ME TO TRANSLATE FOR YOU AND YOU'LL FIND YOURSELF AT THE WELCOMING END OF A BLUDGEONING." He growled in the back of his voice, a cicada like noise accompaning all of his words.  
Dave nodded, contemplative face on as he watched the malnurished creature. "Aight...but it could help us understand you all as a species. it'd help us a LOT if we could get a translator app on our Lexs..."  
"IT'D HELP ME A LOT IF YOU'D SHUT YOUR CHITINOUS WIND HOLE." he narrowed his eyes and stood as high as he could on his back legs. He stared a little at Dave, opening his mouth and lowering his ears, almost as if to ask something. He closed his mouth and settled into a deathglare instead.  
"You alright? You need something? They need something?" Dave casually waved his hand towards the other two trolls.  
"THEY'D LIKE TO EAT. I KNOW THIS BECAUSE GAMZEE'S STOMACH HAS BEEN MAKING HORRIBLE NOISES FOR A WHILE. I...NO. I NEED NOTHING. LEAVE ME ALONE AND WAKE ME BEFORE YOU PLACE ANY OF YOUR POINTLESS FECULENT DIGITS UPON MY PERSON."  
Dave nodded as he pulled out more bags of food. "right, right." He paused after tossing the other two trolls six of the bags. "You positive you don't want that collar off before you sleep? I don't mind taking it off."  
"WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I WANT IT OFF? WHY DO YOU DOUBT MY ABILITY TO TAKE THIS POINTLESS CONTRABTION OF SERVITUDE OFF?"  
"only the fact that it isn't off yet." Dave pulled out a tiny pocket knife and getured back to Karkat, "come here. I swear I will not harm you, but you look like you need a little more oxygen." Karkat snarled, showing every bit of his teeth possible. It seemed that those, like his horns, weren't as pointy as the other trolls.  
The young troll arched up his back, bristling his thick hair and clenching his clawed fingers. His eyes were only looking at the knife though, and not at Dave, which was considered a blessing from the light haired youth.  
"It's okay dude...it's okay. this isn't going to hurt you." Dave scooted a little closer to the loud troll and held out his hand. Karkat hissed, the cicada noises returning, and he edged a little farther away. He reminded Dave a little of a kitten. Larger, louder, and lewder, yes, but a kitten.  
Dave put the knife down, watching as it was followed closely by the blackened eyes. he slowly reached a little further and picked up the puny looking troll, earning him self an explicit cursing through and a brief struggle.  
"Hey man...heeey..." Dave pet through the thick head of hair, "Calm down little guy..."  
"shoOOOosh." Dave was now aware of purple hands slapping at Karkats head from behind. "shhhh...oosh..." Gamzee pushed Dave's head sideways to get a better leverage to the now confused Karkat.  
"rrrrrrr...." Karkat glared at the two, his explicitives stopped completely, and his eyes searching out the other troll. Terezi waved from her new pile of empty sacks. The three males looked alarmed in her direction.  
"You still supposed to be blind Ya'Know." Dave grumbled. He adjusted Gamzee and Karkat to look better at the tight collar. It was a tight fit, not breaking the skin yet, but enough to bruise. Gamzee kept his hands on his smaller bretheren, but looked in closely towards the constriction. He chittered and twitted petting Karkat, keeping him subdued as Dave picked back up the knife.  
Dave watched as little eyes closed, resigned with a snarl. Gamzee continued patting but looked instead at Dave. He wiggled his half finned ears and chirped something as Dave placed the knife under the thick fabric.  
Karkat held his breath and scrunched up his face, waiting as Dave worked at the collar. It took all of two minutes for the offending piece was completely off, but once it was so was Karkat. Dave watched as he ran up a tree, Gamzee staring at his hands, a scolding look for letting Karkat go.  
"Alright. We gotta sleep now, do...the want to stay out then?" Dave looked haphazardly at the tree where Karkats fuzzy sea tail was swaying.  
"FUCK IF I CARE. SEEMS LIKE THEY'VE BEEN COOPED UP A LONG TIME THOUGH."  
Dave nodded and shrugged. "here goes nothing." He plodded to his sleeping back and curled into it. if any of them were missing in the morning all he had to do was summon them back and they'd be teleported to their Marble.  
Gamzee and Terezi stared at their trainer for a while, waiting to be summoned back. once they noticed he was dead asleep they turned their eyes upon each other.  
[WHY D1DN'T H3 SUMM0N US B4CK??] Terezi studied where she knew the purple was.  
[DuNnO mY tEaL sIs. I'm StIlL tRyInG tO fIgUrE oUt WhErE mY nEw BrO wEnT.] Gamzee. sniffed the air and turned a look over at his comrade.  
[H3'S UP 1N TH3 TR33 SM4RT STUFF.] She situated herself on her bags and stared blindly at her surroundings. [1T'S 0P3N H3R3. SM3LLS LIK3 TR33S?]  
Gamzee stood under where Karkat was and nodded. [TrEeS bE rIgHt My JuSt-SiS.] He gently spread his hooves a little wider and jumped, barely touching Karkat's tail with his fingers. Karkat quickly pulled it up and turned around.  
[WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK DO YOU WANT YOU PANROTTED PIECE OF FILTH? I JUST MET YOU AND I...] He stared at the lonely eyes and wilted. [WHAT?]  
[I aLl Up AnD wAnTeD tO sEe If YoU wAs OpEn To SoMe CoLd BlOoDeD cOmPaNy?]  
[WHY IN THE EVER-HATING NOOKSTAINED MOTHERGRUBFUCKING MULTIVERSES WOULD I EVER WANT THAT?]  
Terezi sat up and smirked, showing once again all of her needle like teeth. [1TS ONLY N4TUR4L AFT3R ON3 1S C4UGHT T0 S33K S0M3 S0RT 0F UN1TY FR0M 0TH3RS.]  
Karkat stared down a little longer. [oh. I've...never had anyone else. I had always been alone.] he bit his lip again and growled. [I'M NOT COMING DOWN FOR THAT STUPID REASON. I'M COMING DOWN BECAUSE I CAN'T SLEEP.]


	2. Dave: Enter the City

Dave awake with the sun barely shining through the trees. He groggily looked at the clock and groaned. 7:30am was not a time Dave liked to be up. He shook his light hair out of his eyes and looked around for his trolls. All three of them had piled ontop of each other the pile laying on another pile....full of Dave's belongings. He sighed, knowing full well that it was Terezi who rifled through everything.  
Dave slowly stood out of his bag and trudged towards the three trolls. "Hey...we're gonna get started. time to move."  
Gamzee trilled in his sleep, wiggling his goat like ears at the sound of Dave's voice. Terezi growled something and shifted, covering Karkat with her scaly tail. Dave watched the three shift around some more as he started to pick up the mess.  
"was ANYTHING left out of this pile?" Dave asked, throwing one of his extra pairs of sunglasses back into the bag. Karkat chittered sleepily when Dave reached them. He wiped his black eyes with the hem of Dave's stolen shirt he was wearing.  
"WHY THE EVERLOVING FUCK AM I AWAKE RIGHT NOW?" He stretched out, Dave's shirt still covering the tops of his toes.  
"I wanna get to town. y'know...EVENTUALLY." Dave finished throwing everything back in his bag and stood up. He looked at the sky and shrugged. "We can't just sleep late. I don't really want wild Trolls or other trainers finding me when I'm unprepared."  
Karkat yawned but nodded his consent. "FINE. BUT I'M NOT GOING TO GO ON THAT HELLISH INSTRUMENT YOU WORTHLESS BUCKET EATING HUMANS LIKE TO USE. I'LL RUN BESIDE YOU."  
Dave wrinkled his nose in contemplative thought. "You think you can keep up?"  
"FUCK YOU, BULGEMUNCHING FUCKSTENCH. I'M MUCH FASTER THAN THIS PIECE OF GARBAGE." Karkat glowered in Dave's direction.  
Dave nodded, "Alright, but if you need to stop or something, just let me know." He pulled out the other Custody Marbles, "come on back you two."  
Gamzee and Terezi hummed in confusion, chirping and whistling wildly at Karkat. Dave paused, waiting to see what they wanted before returning them, although he already had a clue.  
"THEY WANT TO KNOW WHY I'M ALLOWED OUT AND THEY AREN'T. THEY..." Karkat rubbed his head, "THE FUCKERS WANT TO KNOW IF THEY CAN RUN WITH YOU AS WELL."  
Dave looked at the other two trolls, both staring at him expectantly. "Can they...keep up? I mean...Trix is blind."  
"TEREZI." Karkat corrected, "AND SHE 'SEES' WITH HER NOSE YOU LUMPSQUIRTING IMBECILE. SHE'LL BE FINE AS LONG AS SHE HAS YOU AND GAMZEE TO FOLLOW. I MEAN OU TWO DANK-SMELLING BAFOONS WOULD BE EASY TO FOLLOW IF SHE HAD A HEAD COLD."  
"ouch man. ouch." Dave chuckled. "okay, we'll TRY this. if any of you fall behind, try to escape, or get into any mischief you'll be going back. INCLUDING you Stumpy."  
Karkat paused breifly and turned. "YOU WOULD HAVE CALLED ME STUMPY." This wasn't presented as a question. Karkat bristled in offense. "I WANT YOU DEAD YOU INSALVAGABLE PUS FILLED INGRATE."  
"you say those words out of love, I just know it."  
Dave placed himself on his bike ans looked back at his trolls, all three shrilling at each other and clicking their tongues. Dave knew he'd probably regret this as he started, but there wasn't any reason to not go for it. Moral was good for comrades, right?  
The moment they kicked off Dave was surprised, not that he'd show it. The three of them were bounding quickly with him, Gamzee's hooves hitting the ground with a hard thud, Terezi bouncing off of trees, and Karkat running along the top of them.  
Dave enjoyed the sounds of the trolls as they whirled around him, Gamzee seemed to overshoot a lot of his jumps and would end up in front of Dave every so often and give a quizzical look to his feet, as if blaming them for going to fast. Karkat and Terezi kept up real well as Dave went on.  
Dave swerved hard to the right, taking a surprise turn for fun (or to annoy the trolls, even at this time Dave wasnt so sure himself) only to collide with an older trainer. Dave flew off his bike, landing haphazardly into some bushes, which thankfully caught his fall.  
"good greif Ol' Chap! Are you feeling alright?" Dave shook his head, thankful for the helmet for once. He looked up towards the sound of the voice and saw a face he instantly recognized. Except it was on a man.  
"I'm...good." Dave murmured. Karkat landed with a soft 'thud' right beside Dave, smelling slightly at the fallen human.  
"WOW. YOU DIDN'T DIE. CONGRAT-A-FUCKING-LATIONS ASSHAT YOU GET TO LIVE WITH YOUR FAILURE." Dave rolled his eyes and sat up fully.  
"Thank you Karkat." Dave grumbled. He took the other man's offered hand and stood.  
"Take it easy there, mate! Don't want to over do it. You took a damn good spin off your bike!" The man had a slight accent, one Dave couldn't really place.  
"Alright." Dave dusted off and checked out the Green eyed stranger. The guy didn't even really fall when hit with Dave's bike, and he was built like a wall. "You a Harley, by any chance?"  
"Nope. I'm English! Jake's the name! Harley's are my cousins though!" He offered a buck toothed grin, "What a small world! Running into you out here in the Wilds and Talking about my family!" He placed his hands on his hips and laughed. "May I have the pleasure of knowing your name Chum?"  
"Dave Strider." Dave nodded his greeting as Gamzee edged closer. The hooved Troll looked closer at the stranger, growling slightly as Jake laughed.  
"Aww, come on little Guy! I mean no harm! Just an adventurer looking for some fun." Jake directed this at the Purple and then turned back to Dave. "Strider 'ey? I know a Strider! one of my best friends! Dirk! You've got to know him, Strider doesn't seem to be a very common name!"  
Dave stared, almost slack jawed. His brother NEVER ventured out of the house, he didn't even have a troll. Dirk preferred to stay at the shop and create better and innovative Marbles or to practice some with his sword fighting. For him to know this strange man was unfathomable to Dave, not that Dirk talked much to anyone out loud.  
"You alright Buddy?" Jake asked, a look of concern crossing his tanned face. "I know it seems a bit hard to believe, Dirk doesn't talk much, right? Roxy introduced us. I could call him if you'd like?"  
Dave quickly shook his head, "Nah, you invoked Roxy's name and even I know that girl has a social life of the GODS. Drunk gods, but I digress." Terezi sniffed at Jake and then at the fallen bike. Dave watched his trolls as they gathered behind him, two looking rather shy, the last one looking bored to tears.  
"CAN WE GET GOING OR EAT? YOU HUMANS ARE SO FUCKING ATROCIOUS WHEN YOU MEET UP WITH ONE ANOTHER!"  
Jake stared down at the troll, a small confused smile falling on his face. "Did your troll talk?"  
Karkat stared nonchalantly back at the taller human, "NO. YOU HIT YOUR HEAD TO MANY TIMES AND DAMAGED YOUR THINKPAN TO THE EXTENT THAT HALLUCINATIONS ARE THE 'NORM' FOR YOUR CROTCHBLISTERING INANE LIFE."  
Jake turned his attention back to Dave and rose his eyebrows. "What on EARTH?" He grinned again, "Blimey that is ONE INTERESTING troll! how did you teach him our language! I'm still teaching one of mine, but gosh! She's no where near as good as him!"  
Karkat's ears rose and his eyebrows knitted in confusion, "you're teaching another to talk?"  
Jake nodded emphatically. "Sure am! Here!" He released a female cerulean troll from a bright blue orb. "Howdy Cyan!" She churred at her name and smiled up at Jake. "Say hello to Dave and his trolls Girl!" The troll released was wearing a worn blue dress and some scuffed red shoes.  
She turned her bespectacled face over to the other four and grinned. "hello." she waved her hand energetically at the other trolls. "How is is going?" She emphasized every syllable and spoke slowly, pausing between some words. Karkat stepped forward and looked at the taller troll.  
"HI."  
Cyan stared at him for what seemed to be a long time and then turned to Jake, "who they?"  
"Well..." Jake scratched his head, "That's Dave and those are his trolls!" He gestured wildly to Dave and she turned.  
"I'M KARKAT." The tiny troll emphasized himself and then clicked something to the cerulean. she smiled widely and began click/chirping back. Terezi and Gamzee twittered from their spot and haphazardly bolted to where the new female troll stood.  
"that's OUTSTANDING." Jake whistled. "I bet he could help us decode some of their language." Karkat flattened his ears but continued to talk in his native tongue.  
"If he wanted to, yeah." Dave shrugged. "He's not interested though. Seems a lot of responsibility."  
Jake contemplated this for a minute and nodded. "Fair enough. I wouldn't want to translate for my entire race either."  
"HEY GREEN DOUCHBAlLOON! HER NAME IS ARANEA." Karkat shouted, causing both humans to jump.  
"By george! thank you so much mate for telling me! I bet she sure would prefer to answer to her name, huh?" Jake pulled out a green TrolLex and typed enthusiastically into it. "Aranea! What a name!"  
Dave rubbed his arms and looked back at the sky. "It was...nice? to meet you Jake, but I gotta head back out to the Rainy City. Lalonde's want to look at Karkat, and I want to know more about him myself." Jake nodded and pulled Aranea back into her marble.  
"Fair enough. I was actually headed there myself! Fancy that."  
Dave inwardly flinched. Traveling with English wasn't high on his list of things to do. "Cool."  
"You're a Strider, right?" Jake asked, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "How about a RACE? Of course you don't HAVE to, just think it might be a festive good time!"  
"What are the stakes?" Dave deadpanned. Challenges were almost always accepted, the only exceptions to this rule were if the challenge was issued by a Lalonde in a passive-agressive manner.  
"hmm...If I win you try to convince Dirk to come out with me."  
Dave's eyebrows rose. Dirk would never agree, but oh well. "And if I win?"  
"well...since mines about Dirk how about this, He owes me a huge favor. you win I'll make us even." Jake grinned his buck teeth at Dave and waited for an answer.  
"Aight. Just so we're clear. You win, I give you my older brother's adventuring virginity and if I win you take off a big debt?"  
Jake blustered, "Well to put it in odd words, yes."  
"Deal."  
Jake grinned and saluted Dave, taking off into the forest without another word, leaving the younger man alone with his three trolls and his bike.  
"Come on guys. I can't have my brother's honor hang in jeopardy like that." He mounted his bike once more and headed towards the city, it was still at least a day away on bike, and he didn't know what tricks Jake had up his sleeve.  
"WHY DID YOU ACCEPT THAT ATROCITY OF A CHALLENGE?" Karkat shouted from a tree. "WHAT PRIMITIVE SORT OF THINKPAN MUST YOU HAVE TO GO ALONG WITH THIS."  
Dave shrugged again, "Dunno little Dude. but I'm going to have to find out, aren't I?" Dave calculated where his next rest stop should be. If he kept at it, and his trolls made it well, he should make it to a rest stop Ten miles from the city.  
"I gotta call Dirk though, to know full well who the hell this English douche is."  
It took Dave well into the night to make it to the rest stop he was aiming for. Gamzee made it before he did, sliding into a stop at the fire pit, Terezi quick on his heels. Karkat stumbled out of the basket on Daves bike, half heartedly Cicada-growling as he curled up on some of the stones.  
Dave for the most part felt exhausted, but he needed to eat something and call Dirk before heading to sleep. He got his food started first, placing a fire in the designated pit and placing the Food Pot onto the flame. (Egberts were world famous for their innovative culinary skills and easy to get and use adventure food. They were also really well known for their horrible naming skills.)  
As that warmed Dave took out his communicator and dialed the Strider house. Seeing as he was the only one out it could be one of two people to answer the phone, and they would both be strifing over that.  
Dave was the youngest of three at the Strider house. The eldest was simply known around as 'Bro'. Calling him anything else would get you either ignored or attacked. He was the lead maker of some of the most interesting robots and weird puppet porn. (although only you and Dirk knew about the last one. Bro used a weird pseudonym for his site.)  
Bro had taken off with Dave and Dirk when he turned 18 for some reason Dave didn't know. He had only been one at the time and didn't remember a time before Bro.  
Dirk was the second oldest and was four when Bro took them. He had some memories from that time but never spoke much about the subject. Dirk didn't speak much off the internet (where he could be quite chatty.) But what he said meant something. He walked with a slight limp in his right leg due to a past injury when he was little. Regardless of what the outside world saw of the cold and aloof Strider men, they were very close.  
Dave hung up the communicator with a sigh and called back. If you knew the Striders well enough it could take up to three times to get your call answered. If it was a stranger calling Bro would always answer it, no fighting necessary. But a friend calling could seem like a death sentence for a young Strider.  
"Yo." Bro seemed to have won. again. Come to think of it Bro ALWAYS won. "What's up Little Man?"  
"hey Bro, Dirk available? I got some questions for him." Dave stirred the pot, looking apathetically at the chunks of food.  
"Yeah, gimme a sec. He was just around here."  
Dave heard a scuffle when Dirk finally got on the phone. " 'Sup?"  
"Was he sitting on you again?"  
"Like his favorite chair. What do you want Little Man?"  
"Shutup. I was calling to ask you bout one of your friends. Who the hell is Jake English?"  
Dave waited patiently as Dirk shuffled out of the room. They both knew Bro noticed, but he wouldn't bring it up.  
"How do you know of Jake?" Dirk was barely audible. Dave found something interesting.  
"Heard you owe him big time?" Dave knew his grin could be felt through the phone. breaking 'pokerface' was alright if no one was here to see it. He patted Karkat's head in his distraction, and got a headbutt in return. "what sort of things are you involved with Dirk?"  
"Fuck off and tell me how you know this?"  
"I met him. We're racing to the Rainy City. If I win he lets you off the hook. I made it to the rest stop out side of the city, but I wanted to know more about my adversary."  
"Well For one he doesn't rest like normal people. I've...I've never met him in person. What's he like?"  
"Loud. and very Harley like. Christ you should have seen him. He's built like a WALL or something. I reamed that dude with my bike and I was the one to fall. It was spectacular. Gonna make it Olympic sport one day. Reaming wall people with bikes."  
Dirk stayed quiet as Dave wound down. "What's he sound like?"  
"OH. MY. GOD. NO." Dave gaped at the phone. "Look dude, I'm not getting into that with you. Like who you wanna like. I'm not gonna get into it."  
Dave could hear Dirk roll his eyes. "Fine. Whatever. Lemme tell you this though, I doubt Jake stopped at night. What did you promise him if he won."  
Dave blinked. He didn't think of Jake NOT STOPPING. He stared at his now bubbling pot and mumbled intelligibly into the receiver.  
"What?" Dirk asked, suddenly very concerned. "Was it about me too? Dave. DAVE. you didn't do something I'll make you regret did you?"  
"uh...maybe. Lemme call you back." Dave hung up the phone and looked at the sleeping trolls. Which was worse...trying to explain to Dirk why he needed to go out on an adventure OR the pain and exhaustion from an all day and night ride. He scarfed down his food and summoned back Gamzee and Terezi. Karkat jerked up angrily and eyed Dave in a sleepy confusion.  
"WHAT'S GOING ON?"  
"I need to get to the city fast or I'll have to explain to Dirk why Jake is showing up at our door requesting 'adventure'." He scooped up the protesting troll and remounted his bike. Karkat curled as tight as he could in the large basket as Dave took off, grumbling and cursing loudly.  
It didn't take long for Dave to see a lantern making it's fast way towards the city. The carrier was on roller blades and going fast. Dave quickly recognized the body's frame as that of Jake English.  
"Shit." Jake was really far ahead, farther than what Dave thought possible.  
Dave noticed as Jake turned back, his glasses glinted in the small amount of light, showing off a large smile. The city was coming up, far to slowly for Dave's taste, and Jake was winning. Welp. Dirk was going to have to say good bye to living without adventure.  
Dave pedaled faster, causing Karkat to shriek indignantly. He was right behind the elder boy now, pushing faster.  
"WE'RE GOING TO DIE PLEASESLOWDOWN!!" Karkat shrilled. "DAVEPLEASE! PLEASESLOWDOWN IDON'T WANT. TO . DIE."  
Dave clenched his eyes shut. The possibility that Karkat would panic and cause the whole bike to shift while going at a very high speed was very likely. He gritted his teeth and slowed. Karkat chirped happily as he did, poking his head out of the basket.  
Much to everyone's surprise Jake stopped too.  
"Hell Mate! that was getting WICKED close!" He eyed Karkat sitting in the basket. "Tell you what. How about we do this together? Without any blasted wheels? Just you and me running like MEN."  
Dave sighed and looked at Karkat. "sorry little Dude. Gonna have to do this for Strider's honor. Think you'd be able to last the fifteen minutes needed to get to town?" He captalouged his bike and looked at his only free troll.  
Karkat widened his eyes a little and thought. He hated the damn enclosed space, but he was to tried to run with them. "FINE. I'LL TRY AND SLEEP. I'M TIRED ENOUGH ANY WAY....BUT! IF YOU LEAVE ME LONGER THAN WHAT IS NECESSARY I'LL RUN YOU THROUGH WITH YOUR OWN WATER BOTTLE AND BATH IN YOUR BLOOD."  
Dave nodded and summoned him back, waiting a few seconds to see if Karkat would struggle. He then turned to look at Jake, who had already captcha'd his skates. "you ready?"  
Dave stretched out his legs and arms, readying his exhausted body for a run that he was surly going to lose.  
"no. but we'll go anyway." The two men readied themselves, Jake placing himself just a tad behind Dave, acting like he didn't notice. Dave pretended he wasn't thankful.  
"We'll go at three." Jake stated, both of them staring into the distance. Fortunatly it was a straight shot, but seven miles. Dave nodded and grimaced. At least he had eaten.  
"One...Two..." Jake looked sideways at Dave and smiled, "THREE." He gave Dave the head start, going a full four seconds after the younger male was off.  
"Tally-HOOOOOO" He cried as he sprinted. Dave knew that in good health and not exhausted this would have been nothing to him. Walking, running, and biking were the more common ways of getting from place to place. occasionally a trainer would find a wind based, a psionic, or a telekinetic troll, though those types were rather rare, one could teach them to fly from one place to another.  
Dave's head pounded along with his feet, Jake's feet pounding on behind...and getting closer.  
"Move along Mate! I'm catching up!"  
Dave swore loudly in his head. Dirk was going to ream him. Had this been when he was at his peek there was no doubt that he would have stood a chance beating Jake English, but as it stood he had less stamina.  
"Crap." Jake over took him as they neared the city limits, crossing ahead and winning by three feet. English collapsed on the ground shortly afterwards though, laughing loudly as Dave sat down near him.  
"Jolly good show there chum! I didn't think I'd make it here, my legs just about gave out." Jake stretched out his back and groaned. "now...how about I sport us up some rooms and we talk again tomorrow...after a spot of rest?"  
All Dave could do was nod, to exhausted to say anything else, and afraid that if he DIDN'T get a room he'd fall asleep right in the middle of the road.  
He released Karkat as soon as his room was obtained, rented by Jake in the "spirit of Sportsmanship!" The little troll tore around the room in circles, digging his claws into anything soft and loudly speaking in his native tongue. Dave laughed as he collapsed into bed.  
"You alright buddy?"  
"FUCK. YOU. YOU ASS-SHITTING BAG OF FUNGUS GROWING SHIT." Karkat finally settled down an hummed in anger, his whole body vibrating with the noise. "WHO WON YOUR IDIOTIC WASTE OF TIME?"  
"Jake." Dave mumbled. "Dirk is going to kill me." He released his other two trolls, knowing they'd probably like to be out in the room too. Gamzee stayed asleep, flopped on the floor where he was let out.  
Terezi hopped up and pounced around the room, excited by the new smells. She squished on Karkat's small frame, grinning and chirping as he complained. He twitted back flippantly, brushing her off as he looked for a higher up place to perch for the night.  
"get some sleep guys. We're all showering tomorrow...and after I talk to Jake I'm taking you all for checkups at the clinic." Dave set his alarm for noon and wrapped the blankets around him. He shuffled most of his clothing off in the bed and left it there, to beat to care anymore.  
Terezi shuffled under Karkat's resting place and snickered. [1 S33 H3 W4S TH3 LOS3R 1N TH1S ORD34L?] Karkat sniffed down in response but kept his eyes closed. She hesitated for only a second before jumping up and coiling around him.  
[YOU DON'T M1ND M3 SL33PING H3R3, DO YOU?] she pinned him down underneath her, using her larger body to thwart his escape attempts. Karkat gave up quickly and relaxed, keeping on a scowl as he got comfortable. He didn't even wake up as Gamzee stacked items from around the room to join them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so...Jake wasn't supposed to jump in like he did. I didn't even plan to write him at all. 
> 
> I appreciate any questions/comments/critiques! Thank you guys for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> not going to lie, I follow someone on Tumbler who keeps posting Pokemon and Homestuck and it mashed in my head.   
> please feel free to offer up critiques and questions, I'm still very much trying to flesh out this story.


End file.
